When I’m at a Conpherence, everything has to be Phree!

A long time ago, in a Pharmacy Conference far, far away, when I had just graduated as a pharmacist, I went around trying to grab everything I could that was free - as you do at those sorts of things. It’s what they are there for, not for learning anything and certainly not for buying anything!

I got a few free magnets, coffee mugs, heaps and heaps of pens, samples of all sorts of creams and lotions (no, there were no samples of Viagra – it probably wasn’t even around then…), had my bone density tested for free, and it was extremely good for my age… well, back then it was. I even got to taste test some wine! Why taste testing of wine was at a pharmacy conference I’ll never know, but hell, who cares! It was FREE!

As I was driving, and didn’t really like the taste of 'something, something' brand of wine years ago – being young I was into shooters, spirits, pre-mixed drinks and boutique beer – I decided to use the spit bucket they had provided. I tried the first wine. Ew, yuck, spit. Tried the second wine. Not too bad, spit.

I met up with a friend at the time; they tried the first wine after I had finished tasting both. Their face distorted in a relatively, disgusted manner, so I offered them the spit bucket, “Here, that’s the spit bucket.”

The lady organising the wine tasting said, “No, don’t spit in there!”

Too late, my friend had already emptied the cheap wine they were making us taste… for free, into the bucket.

“No, that’s for people to put their business cards in and win a free case of wine!” She continued.

“Oops. Sorry. Didn’t realise. Where’s your spit bucket then?” I said apologetically.

“We don’t have one!” She said as she began ‘saving’ the business cards, shaking them in the air to dry off.

“Well that’s a bit stupid then, isn’t it?” I retorted and walked away.

Just between you and me, I close my eyes when I spit… That’s why I never noticed the business cards! ;)

Business Oriented Phloozy

I've come to notice most of my stories are strongly related to sex and seem to always happen at night. Well this story is no exception, except, it happened during the day...

A blonde lady came into the pharmacy during the day wearing a very skimpy outfit - short skirt, boob tube, high heeled shoes, stomach showing and her skin heavily tanned. Basically, when you look at this woman the first thing that would come to mind is, hooker.

Without being judgemental, I asked her if she required any assistance, to which she indicated she did not. While she continued to shop, some other ladies arrived for pharmacist intervention, and the way they were holding hands, both with very short hair, I presumed they were lesbians.

Just on a side note, as Pharmacists we may make a lot of assumptions and judgements about clients, but we do not discriminate, well I know I don't! I have heard of situations where that has occurred, but more on that another time.

Again, without judgement, I served the other two ladies who requested period pain medication. Meanwhile, the blonde lady goes to pay for her items, and because I was already occupied, my boss assisted her.

After the usual process, I go to process the sale for the presumed 'lesbians' on the same computer that my boss just used to complete the sale for the blonde lady. As I put through the sale with my boss standing next to me, the blonde lady directly in front and the presumed 'lesbians' to the right, the blonde lady hands me a business card and says to me, "Here, you might like to visit me sometime."

I study the card she has just given me and notice a picture of a woman from the mid-section down showing her back, behind and legs wearing an extremely short blue skirt, of which is so short it showed her g-string in the same colour blue. There was also the address and a phone number for a brothel!

The business card confirmed she was a call girl - my initial judgement was therefore correct! She just offered me sex in the pharmacy!!!

Knowing my boss and the presumed 'lesbians' have seen this occur and have most likely come to the same conclusion, I say, "no thanks," and give the card back. I finish the transaction with the presumed 'lesbians' and return to the dispensary where my boss is already telling the story to another pharmacist.

My boss mentions the blonde also bought sea sponges, which confirmed to him that she was a prostitute. If you don't know how the sea sponges are related to working girls, refer to this earlier post: To Ex-pholiate or Phornicate?

He then asked a rhetorical question, "Why didn't she offer me the card? I was the one serving her! Maybe she saw my wedding ring?"

Maybe she just wanted a young, intelligent, good-looking client for once? ;)