Pheel Good Phit-pack

Very late one evening, a drunkard stumbled in from the nearby pub, slurring every word he uttered. The pharmacist on duty at the time was available to serve him, yet struggled to understand exactly what he wanted. Instead, the pharmacist commented on how good a night the gentleman obviously had had.

This started up a whole conversation between the pharmacist and the inebriated man, one side professional & cheerful, the other almost completely incomprehensible.

Nearing the end of their buoyant discussion, the pharmacist tried to discern the product the gentleman was after. As it turned out, it appeared the intoxicated party was after what is commonly termed, a fit-pack. An item packaged with three to five 1mL syringes (depending on the pack size requested), which, in its heyday was used by diabetics to inject insulin. Since, in Australia, most insulin requiring diabetics now receive their insulin injecting equipment for free, they are most commonly reserved for drug addicts to obtain clean needles, rather than share syringes, as well as their diseases.

The intoxicated gentleman put $20 on the counter, while still in conversation with the pharmacist, of whom processed the sale. The pharmacist then left the fit-pack and the money on the counter. The drunken man fumbled while retrieving his money then looked puzzled at the fit-pack, muttering loudly, “What’s this?”

He ripped open the fit-pack peering inside. “Syringes?!?” He slurred with gusto. “I didn’t ask for syringes!”

Then he stumbled out the front door of the pharmacy, never realising he spent $8 and left the item he didn’t need or want on the counter…

Phorget Phlushing

A guy walks into the pharmacy late one night from a nearby pub and asks the assistant with a drunken lisp, "Where's ya pisser?" (He was asking to go to the toilet for those who don't understand)

"Sorry, we don't have a public toilet," The assistant replied.

We do actually have a toilet, but only for staff. We don't want to allow the public access to our toilet at the risk they may shoot up, which could be a common occurrence with the clientele we quite often serve.

I butted in to help out the assistant, "There's a public toilet 50 metres up the street. Go there."

"Oh, alright," the drunken man said and he left the store.

We could still see him at our front door, then we realised he was pissing on it!

The assistant yelled at the man to fuck off, but when someone's started to urinate, you know how hard it is to stop, so I weighed all my options before I took any action. Do I, a) yell abuse at him to stop; b) tackle him to the ground and risk getting pissed on; c) call the cops who would have no chance of catching him?

I know you wanted me to pick 'b)' and get pissed on, but I chose a combination of 'a)' and 'c).' What would you have done? There's not much one can do.

So I called the cops and left my details and a description of the offender. The drunk, pissing man finished his business and took off. I never saw him again, or the cops for that matter.

Disgusting prick!

Phunny Phemales

Two "girls" came into the pharmacy late one night in fluoro coloured bikini tops and short skirts, and when I say "girls" I actually mean boys...

So anyway, the fact they were boys was quite obvious, however, they were not doing it for a prank, they were transvestites or transsexuals - I wasn't going to check exactly which! I left them to do their shopping which appeared to be a lot of shaving and depilatory equipment - I guess that's not really much of a surprise considering they were boys in bikinis.

While they were shopping another man came in from a pub nearby. The odour of alcohol on his breath was potent, he was slurring his words and was not well balanced. He asked me if he could buy a fit pack, which, for those of you who don't know, is a fresh pack of syringes, most commonly purchased by druggies and readily available in pharmacies to reduce the spread of disease due to sharing or reusing old equipment. All those that ask for a fit pack because they are "diabetic" are liars - they are druggies. Real diabetics use easy injecting pens, and if they need syringes, all insulin dependent diabetics get theirs for free (at least in Australia they do).

Anyway, to continue the story, this drunk man sees the "girls" shopping for shaving equipment and says to me, "Is that an Adams apple I see?"

I make no comment as I put through his sale. He continues while stumbling on the spot.


"I'd still hit that!"


*uncomfortable pause*


"Uh.. yeah... ok... Here's your change..."