Grandphather Pharmacist

One morning on opening of the pharmacy with a female assistant, a note was left from the pharmacist from the previous night regarding the return of an item. The item was a badly dented 900g tin of S26 Gold Comfort baby formula.

The note indicated that the woman who returned the can of formula claimed to have purchased it from our pharmacy. The pharmacist, who was known for not being the sharpest tool in the shed and on the wrong side of 60 (imagine Mr Magoo), wrote in the note that he couldn’t find the product on the pharmacy’s computer system so refunded it at the price the woman said she paid for it without a receipt! That was around $24!

The assistant and I examined the can more closely and I said, “Do we even sell S26 Gold Comfort?”

My assistant checked the back office system and replied, “No. We’ve never even purchased it for the shelves!”

Reading the note further, the pharmacist explained in his writings that he felt pressured into doing the refund and that the lady has ‘probably’ conned us!

I looked at my assistant and stated, “That last sentence should read something more like, ‘I’m too old to be a pharmacist and should retire because this lady ‘canned’ me.’”

We shared a laugh.


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But seriously, to all the old(er) pharmacists, please be more methodical when you’re in charge of someone else’s business. I actually do like working with you because, as you can see, I enjoy listening to your interesting experiences.

And to all pharmacists, learn your boundaries and be confident in your decisions. If you think it’s wrong, it probably is and just because ‘everyone else does it,’ doesn’t make it correct!

Prophylactic Problem

A lady came into the pharmacy one afternoon and asked to speak to whoever was in charge. At the time, I was still an undergraduate, so the pharmacist in charge, when she wasn't busy, went to assist the lady.

"I would like to return this product," the lady announced, "It doesn't work!"

The pharmacist inspected the item in question and it turned out to be a 75g tube of spermicide. "I'm sorry ma'am, but we can't return medicinal products, especially if they have been opened and used," The pharmacist replied.

"Well, I'm pregnant, so you have to! It didn't work!" The lady retorted.

"I'm sorry, but I can't. You've used all of the product, if everyone did that for all the products in the pharmacy because they 'didn't work,' eventually there would be no pharmacies!"

The lady, getting angrier now, said, "So I ate this stuff every time I had sex for nothing! It tastes like CRAP!"

The pharmacist, shocked by the lady's answer, lowered her voice to a whisper, "Um, ma'am... you swallowed it? This is meant to be inserted... you know... down stairs..."

"What? It doesn't say it on there." The lady checked the tube of spermicide, "Insert the spermicide deep into your vagina... oh, it does." The lady reduced the tone and fierceness in her voice, "I'm sorry, this is embarrassing. I didn't realise."

The pharmacist, feeling sorry for the lady then said, "Look, considering this has caused you some embarrassment and nobody offered to explain to you how to use it when you bought it, how about, as a gesture of good will, I give you 15% off any pregnancy, breastfeeding or baby product? I'll write it on a voucher for you so you can purchase it any time in the next year. And to reduce this problem happening again, I will personally apply some 'vaginal use only' stickers to the spermicide tubes and encourage my staff to ask if the person knows how to use it when they buy it."

The lady, a little happier, replied, "Ah, yes, that's sounds ok. Thank you."

The lady took the voucher and left the pharmacy quietly.