Prophylactic Problem

A lady came into the pharmacy one afternoon and asked to speak to whoever was in charge. At the time, I was still an undergraduate, so the pharmacist in charge, when she wasn't busy, went to assist the lady.

"I would like to return this product," the lady announced, "It doesn't work!"

The pharmacist inspected the item in question and it turned out to be a 75g tube of spermicide. "I'm sorry ma'am, but we can't return medicinal products, especially if they have been opened and used," The pharmacist replied.

"Well, I'm pregnant, so you have to! It didn't work!" The lady retorted.

"I'm sorry, but I can't. You've used all of the product, if everyone did that for all the products in the pharmacy because they 'didn't work,' eventually there would be no pharmacies!"

The lady, getting angrier now, said, "So I ate this stuff every time I had sex for nothing! It tastes like CRAP!"

The pharmacist, shocked by the lady's answer, lowered her voice to a whisper, "Um, ma'am... you swallowed it? This is meant to be inserted... you know... down stairs..."

"What? It doesn't say it on there." The lady checked the tube of spermicide, "Insert the spermicide deep into your vagina... oh, it does." The lady reduced the tone and fierceness in her voice, "I'm sorry, this is embarrassing. I didn't realise."

The pharmacist, feeling sorry for the lady then said, "Look, considering this has caused you some embarrassment and nobody offered to explain to you how to use it when you bought it, how about, as a gesture of good will, I give you 15% off any pregnancy, breastfeeding or baby product? I'll write it on a voucher for you so you can purchase it any time in the next year. And to reduce this problem happening again, I will personally apply some 'vaginal use only' stickers to the spermicide tubes and encourage my staff to ask if the person knows how to use it when they buy it."

The lady, a little happier, replied, "Ah, yes, that's sounds ok. Thank you."

The lady took the voucher and left the pharmacy quietly.

Dirty Phingers

A young couple of central Asian descent came into the pharmacy late one night requesting the morning after pill, also known as emergency contraception. The girl filled out the questionnaire as required and the pharmacist begun to counsel her. At the time I was still an intern pharmacist, but was able to witness this interaction first hand.

While the pharmacist was counselling, the boyfriend interrupted and asked, "Is it possible to get pregnant if you cum on your hands then put your fingers into your girlfriends pussy?"

The pharmacist replies, "It's very unlikely, you'd have to put your fingers up a fair way into the vagina, but I guess it could be possible."

Meanwhile, the girl says to her boyfriend, "Come on! Lets go. we don't need it."

The boyfriend continues, "What if you come on your hands 4 hours before then put your fingers into your girlfriend?"

"You came on your hands and didn't wash them for 4 hours?!?!" The pharmacist replied in shock. "Get out of here, you don't need it!"